Five Minute Friday – Last.

Five minute Friday – a prompt, 5 minutes of free writing, link up, then encourage and be encouraged…http://lisajobaker.com/2013/08/five-minute-friday-last/

Go…

Last words.

The last thing I heard was not the last thing she said.
It was the last blow I felt, the last slap I allowed.

That is when I slammed the door,

My heart was no longer available – it was broken and it was bolted.

Apologies were said like every time before – and accepted.

But hope was gone – no bond existed and never would.

Joy in being known and recognized and of knowing and embracing,

Dreams, no longer allowed.
She left. I begged.

She left. I chased.

She left. I grew.

She left a hundred times in a hundred ways.

So when I left she wasn’t even there to notice.

I had no last words, what was the point?
So, I continue to breath and my broken heart keeps beating,
And stays bolted.

Stop…

And I still hear those last words.

(Post Note: I was watching an Adele concert tonight (Sat night) and she said something that so resonated with me…

“I never know how I feel, I never let myself know how I feel – I just put it all to the back of my mind and I don’t really find out until it comes out as I am writing my songs…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiffZekzdLo

This is how I am too. This why I need to write.  Writing is like praying.  As I sit down and let myself just write and play with words how I really feel or what I really felt at some other time is revealed and sometimes I am surprised but what I discover.  I am so glad I heard her say that, it really put into words what my experience is. This little bit of writing was an example of that happening.)

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5 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday – Last.

  1. Oh you know that I am fine. God is good and faithful to show us who we are in Christ is the only thing worth focusing on and His words are the only ones with any real power in our lives. My hope in Him is a confident life-empowering hope and that is more than enough for me.

  2. This made me so sad. I am so sorry she is missing out on your life. God is the giver of hope, peace and joy and I hope you find that in Him. blessings!

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